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I always pushed myself, to be the best. A perfectionist. I wanted to be in control of everything and everyone around me. Everything was meticulously planned and in the most efficient way possible. I always felt I had to impress friends, family, colleagues, my boss, the list goes on. I didn’t trust anyone and I would often question their loyalty.

I had a successful corporate senior manager role in financial services, which I loved. I thrived off managing a full-on workload, I didn’t think twice about the very long days. I loved creating solutions and working with demanding deadlines. I loved the generous salary which meant I could afford to have my dream forever home in the country.

Then one day, this all changed. I had a baby.

During my maternity leave, I returned early after only been on maternity leave for 5 months. I missed using my brain, the challenge, I missed me. Of course, I would miss being away from my son, but he was such a chilled out baby, I knew it wouldn’t affect him.

I remember just before a meeting with my manager to negotiate dropping my hours, I researched several highly successfully women that had returned to work after having a baby and still thrived in their senior roles. I felt this gave me some inspiration and hope that I could still have it all. Then, the reality kicked in.

I always pushed myself, to be the best. A perfectionist. I wanted to be in control of everything and everyone around me. Everything was meticulously planned and in the most efficient way possible. I always felt I had to impress friends, family, colleagues, my boss, the list goes on. I didn’t trust anyone and I would often question their loyalty.

I had a successful corporate senior manager role in financial services, which I loved. I thrived off managing a full-on workload, I didn’t think twice about the very long days. I loved creating solutions and working with demanding deadlines. I loved the generous salary which meant I could afford to have my dream forever home in the country.

Then one day, this all changed. I had a baby.

During my maternity leave, I returned early after only been on maternity leave for 5 months. I missed using my brain, the challenge, I missed me. Of course, I would miss being away from my son, but he was such a chilled out baby, I knew it wouldn’t affect him.

I remember just before a meeting with my manager to negotiate dropping my hours, I researched several highly successfully women that had returned to work after having a baby and still thrived in their senior roles. I felt this gave me some inspiration and hope that I could still have it all. Then, the reality kicked in.

After returning to work, only 3 weeks later, anxiety and guilt of being away from my son hit me. My workload increased; even thought I was working 4 days. Just trying to leave the office on time, never happened. At the end of the day, I would often be running out, late because an important meeting had overrun or last minute, I would be asked to complete something. Even attempting to carve out 20 minutes to be able to express some breast milk was becoming a challenge! During the one-hour commute, I would find it a race to collect my son from childcare. Just seeing his face light up when he saw me, I felt so happy to see him, but so guilty knowing I would be away from him again. Most evenings, I would be working on my laptop late into the evening.

I felt so alone. I couldn’t tell my boss how I was feeling. When you are in a senior role, I felt I could not turn to colleagues at a similar of higher level, otherwise I thought it could tarnish my credibility. I didn’t want to confide with my husband because I knew he would start to panic thinking I would just quit my job. I found that close friends and family just didn’t really understand what I was going through.

Work noticed I was struggling to commit fully to my job. I was called aside, and it was suggested that temporarily “stepped down” because working part-time didn’t suit the role. If I stayed in my role, I was expected to stay in the office late, be available on my day off so I would be seen to be fully committed. This would be impossible. There was no way I was prepared to give up that one day I had with my son in the week. So, I stepped down and felt like a failure.

I felt frustrated and out of control. My dreams were shattered.

A little about me...

After losing my Dad to suicide at the age of 6, throughout my childhood I woulways seek protection and love, trying to feel secure.

As a young child, I witnessed my Mum being in a violent relationship, which left me feeling powerless and alone, not being able to trust others around me.

I always felt like the failure in my family and I was led to believe my siblings would always be better than me.

After nearly 20 years in Financial Services and being successful in my role, after my first sone was born, I found it difficult to continue to grow my career further  and be a good mother.

I suffered from chronic migraines for 5 years, feeling exhausted and out of control. I was prescribed stronf pain killers with unplesant side effects. 

Experiencing Hypnotherapy for the first time eliminated my migraines. I felt free again.

My mission is to help women take back control of their lives, love who they are, help them achieve beyond their wildest dreams and still have it all.